NetWatcher's Guide to Everything

Being a hard working member of the work force, I usually get to be blissfully unaware of the amazing drivel that is daytime television. I'm sure that some network executive out there thought long and hard before okaying a show that explores the deep metephysics behind exactly who is the father of a 3-year old kid whose mother has slept with every other man who are guests on every other talk show airing that morning. I can't accept the possibility that American minds have so deteriorated that this type of show is actually entertaining.

I have to wonder, though, if this is in fact the case, where did the society start breaking down. In the olden days, books were popular, to the point that epic classic novels were written to inspire and spark the imaginiations of those that read them. The generation resulting from that constant stimulation of the mind created arguably some of the quickest techological advances the world has seen, almost as if a second renassance had occured. Now, from the mental stimulus of Melville, Dickens, and Shelly, society has Ricky Lake to keep us company in the weekday mornings.

Surely this can't just have happened overnight, and surely this type of thing has to have it's roots in something picked up in childhood. Watching daytime TV this morning, I think I may have found the reason that people's attention spans have shrunk to microscopic sizes. Move over Barney, say goodbye to the Teletubbies, the UK has unleashed a new horror to young children's minds: Say hello to Boobah!. Really, if you haven't seen this show, I suggest you do, simply for the shock value. I know I found myself asking what crack these people were on when making this show. Besides resembling a very bad acid trip, the show really doesn't have any redeeming qualities. The show's creator insists that the show promotes mathematical concepts, geometry, language skills, as well as problem solving skills. Quit a feat for a show that features no words, and a very trippy monotonous musical "score" if you can call it that.

Actually, I first found the flash on Ebaums's World without knowing that there was actually a show that TV execs spent money on. In fact they spent money on 104 episodes of this show. I really need to find out how to get money like that. If this show can get funding, then I should be able to get money to do anything I want. I know....a new show featuring a camera aimed at a yard. As the grass grows, your child will be exposed to predictive skills "What do you think will happen to the grass over time?". Language skills: if your child already knows "green", you can introduce the word "verdant". Mathematical skills: Without words, your child will see one blade of grass growing right next to another, that's addition! Problem Solving: What will the grass need to grow? Imagination: What if the grass was actually poision ivy? . I mean it worked for Boobah.

What they seem to be missing is that it's actually the parent's involvement with the child that sparks learning.